Stupid Movie Goers!

Can someone please explain to me how Beverly Hills Chihuahua is the number one movie in America for the second week in a row? How is this possible? Or, I should say, how does this crap keep happening? I swear at the feet of Loki’s gym teacher that everyone in this stupid country has it in for decent films. I’m not entirely sure how the bimbos and rednecks can manage to keep going to see crap like this and Twilight, while simultaneously voting gems like Eagle Eye off the island?

Some of the best of the big budget movies of the last decade were panned by critics for no apparent reason, I think Eagle Eye is just the newest in a long line. The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise where every film was ripped to shreds, only to become the blue eyed child once the next sequel was released. Tim Burton’s re-adaption of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which was torn apart by fans of a shitty former adaption on the grounds that they’d seen the Gene Wilder version first. And, of course, the fun and very fitting Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull that has more fanboys bitching than Wesley Crusher.

I don’t get it. Why do people praise idiocy and utter tardation? Why do people ash can perfectly good, engaging and fun films in favor of pure crap? Why do we need 800 Highschool Musical movies? Someone, please, help me out here. :S

Footlight Parade – Love it, Sorta.

One of the greatest films ever shown, has everyone and everything in it, including Jimmy Cagney. The movie is FOOTLIGHT PARADE, one of my all-time favorite movies. In fact, it’s such a favorite that I know most of it by heart – though I just rented the DVD and found out how much they really cut out of this film.

Apparently you can’t show blantant racism in the form of the ever popular “Blackface Number” on television anymore, which is a shame because we could all use a little retardation in our lives, lol. SO many films during the War were like this, one of the most infamous being Holiday Inn. I realize they weren’t meant that way, people thought it was witty and progressive. Charming, even. That’s some crazy crap, dude, Holiday Inn is seen as some big family film! I wonder what AAAABRAHAM would say about this?

 

The Greatest Game Ever Played

Well I just got to see The Greatest Game Ever Played, and now I question the sanity of the people who panned it in reviews and whatnot. It’s absolutely beautiful, and this is from someone who pretty much doesn’t give two shots about golf, in fact I’m basically bored to tears by the game, but they totally make you feel for the characters with great casting, writing and directing and they really made me care about that particular US Open.

Of course, I saw it because Shia’s in it, and his films never seem to dissapoint even if they’ve gotten bad reviews. So color me surprised that they really are good films. I didn’t even want to see Disturbia, lol. In fact, I’m still ticked that they remade it but it’s *so* good. Le sigh, lol.

Short Review – Cloverfield

Okay, well apparently Cloverfield is a piece of crap and I’m glad I didn’t waste my precious time and even more precious money going to see that turd box in the theater, because they don’t deserve my ticket money lol.

See, when Cloverfield first came out I thought, “Oh jesus, another We’re Douchebags horror movie.” and I wish I’d just kept that in my mind at all times instead of being fooled by the fact that the amazing Drew Goddard was the pen for this stinker. The concept’s not bad, and I agree that American should have it’s own Godzilla-like monster, but can we please have central characters who don’t annoy me and make me spend the entire movie going, “OH GOD, please just die already! Show me the monster before you go!”?

Credit Card Reviews

As you know, when I’m not ranting about my life, this website is basically about freebies, free samples, free gifts, etc., but you can’t get everything for free, right? Right. And I’m sure you’ll eventually need to build your credit history at some point in your life, and that’s where CreditCardsClub.com comes in handy. If you’re going to do something this important, you want to start off on the right foot and know what you’re getting yourself into.

CreditCardsClub has taken it upon themselves to offer you credit card reviews to help you choose the card that’s right for you, and make that decision an informed one. If you’re looking for a card, I suggest giving them a try. :)

Review: One Missed Call (08)

Well, it’s official, the remake of One Missed Call was actually worse than I thought it would be. They added a…and then there was the…and he was a cop but…have you ever wanted to be able to shoot just the piece of your brain out that controls the memory of one single film? Spoilers Below

First of all, someone start punching that main chick – just, please. Punching. Because she was worthless through the entire thing, and where as I loved Yumi and wanted her to make it, this new chick actually made me root for the ghost! Yes, that’s right, I wanted them to get her and kill the shit out of her.

Plus, they promised me Azura Skye and she was only it in for, like, 10 minutes! Plus, there are so many inconsitancies between the films it makes the remake look like a 100 monkeys wrote it with their feet. Somehow Newmi ( which is what I call the main character, since she’s New Yumi ) happens to be everywhere the ghosts are – in places she wasn’t in the first film – poking her ass into the crime scenes and then, to convince us that she’s terrified, she begins acting like she just swallowed a bug. She went to the Meg Ryan School for Acting Good, or something. She makes Anne Hathaway look like Judy Denche in comparison. ( I know what you’re thinking, how can I possibly be Judy Denche when I’m so obviously Halle Barry – okay, I’m done, lol. )

On top of this, they added BS that didn’t need to be in there – like the multitude of ghosts out of nowhere. Just random smack-faced ghosts with dead, blue skin and meanacing faces just staring at you if you’ve gotten the call – and then it turns out that *fanfare* those ghosts are actually exact replicas of the little ghost girl’s toys! Plus, there’s nothing left of the original film to make this scary – they kept a very few things, and didn’t really think about what they were doing. This movie is SO bad, it gets a negative rating – three thumbs up my butt. Do yourself a favor, watch the original.

Movie Review: The Simpsons Movie

So, I finally got off my butt and saw the Simpsons Movie ( yes, I know I’m almost a year late! ), but I have to say that I had high expectations of the film and it more than surpassed them!

I’ve been a big fan of Groening’s work, especially The Simpsons and Futurama, and because I’ve been a die-hard Simpsons fan ever since the show premiered I thought I had a pretty good handle on what they were capable of. I assumed it would be one film-length episode of The Simpsons and, while it was basically the same, they pulled out all of the stops for this one!

The animation was fabulous, the detail is just gorgeous, and they used their budget to great effect. The story is actually very moving in addition to being hilarious, and they pay give us oldies something to cheer about with callbacks to some of the oldest and most beloved Simpsons gas, such as jumping The Springfield Gorge and “Release The Hounds”.

Overall, the film was far better than I expected, it was worth th eir time and effort and definately worth the price of the DVD which I will be ordering as soon as I get my bills paid assuming I’ve got leftover. Go rent it, damn it! Lol.

 

Review: The ShowerBow

I *hated* my shower curtain, seriously. First of all, shower curtains do little to keep water inside your shower unless someone’s got some kind of magical shower curtain with a forcefield or something that I’ve never seen on the market. Secondly, shower curtains cling – to everything…to butt’s! Oh yes, shower curtains can’t *wait* to cling to your butt, your butt looks good to a shower curtain, and so you’ve got to push them out of the way and you inevitably end up pushing the bottom of the curtain out of the tub and negate the point of having a shower curtain to begin with.

On top of all that, a shower curtain ( even a spotless one ) is a breeding ground for bacteria, do you really want it up against your skin? Really?

Well, MoreShowerSpace.com has something called the ShowerBow, which is supposed to hold your shower curtain gently away from you to give you more space to stand without shower-curtain-on-butt, which is nice because I hate shower-curtain-on-butt, and it tucks back invisibly when you push your shower curtain aside. Actually, it’s more or less invisible the whole time, so you don’t get an unslightly plastic ma-jigger arching out from behind your shower curtain and making your bathroom look weird.

The whole thing looks cool to me, especially for those who still use shower curtains – I’ve upgraded to shower doors, which are equally as bad but at least they don’t cling to the butt!

Sponsored by ShowerBow