Pagans are Better? Whoo hoo!

I just read something utterly hilarious on the National Catholic Register ( now with even MORE misinformation! ), and I just can’t keep it to myself. You’re going to love this!

Apparently Christians – the #1 “We Hate _______” religion on the freaking planet – the religion responsible for modern slavery, huge death tolls, and several wars hiding behind the label of ‘crusades’ – are the sole foundation for the notion that people are in any way equal! This is a direct quote from the site:

“Pagans came by this notion honestly, because the whole conception of human beings as “equal” owes its entire existence to the Judeo-Christian tradition and absolutely nothing else. It is pure mysticism based solely and exclusively on Genesis and related biblical texts.

Pagans, having no access to this revelation, tended to concur with Aristotle that some people were “natural slaves” and “talking plows” since it is manifestly obvious that people are not equal in terms of intelligence, musical aptitude, facility with languages, strength, speed, mathematical abilities and a million other factors.

Alone in pagan antiquity was the Christian claim that God is no respecter of persons, and that all were equally beloved by him who gave his only Son to save all, right down to the most wretched and seemingly insignificant sinner. “

FIRST of all, there’s no such thing as Judeo-Christian, okay? You guys killed an assload of Jews and then, when you realized they were winning religiously, you decided if you can’t beat em, join em. Second of all Paganism is the root of all of the major sciences before the middle ages, and Christianity taking over plunged us all into the dark ages with no running water, no real hospitals, no shaved armpits – well, you get the picture. All that and the lovely notion that the world was inside a big sphere with stars drawn on it – likely in crayon – because God’s some kind of cheap magician who sucks at close up magic.

Third, and my favorite, “God is no respecter of persons” has nothing to do with him loving you, dolt. No god has any respect for you – can’t you read?

At any rate, no, you guys didn’t invent equality – you’d love to think you’re responsible for everything and anything decent or good, but you can eat a candybar out of my ass because we both know it’s not true.