Lunch Labels?

I don’t know if you’ve been over to the Dymo website to check out all their awesome back to school stuff or not, but they’ve got some great stuff over there, particularly their Dymo label maker that makes some killer color labels that I would have killed to have when I was in school.

I was just teased relentlessly because I brought a lunchbox but I did it anyway because I just loved that thing. It was yellow Teddy Ruxpin, and if I could find one today I’d carry my lunch in it, I adored that lunchbox. In fact, I never grew out of that, to this day I collect and carry Bento to work with me every day, my favorite is my strawberry milk pink Hello Kitty onigiri bento but I’m getting off track, lol.

Basically if you carry a lunch box in 5th grade you’re asking for it, and I got it, these two kids would hide it or dump the food out and replace it with anything gross they could find during recess, and once they even threw it away and I saw it sticking out of the garbage. Well I was so tired of it and so embarassed that one week I brought a brown paper sack with my lunch in it and every single day one of the two girls who used to mess with my lunchbox would steal the lunch bag and eat my lunch or share it with her friends.

Well, one day I caught her doing it and I told the lunch duty and do you know what she said? Because it wasn’t my usual lunchbox she couldn’t prove it was my lunch, so the girl was never punished and I ended up going yet another week without lunch. I would have loved to have that label maker to label my lunch bag and prove that the lunch was mine, because let’s be honest, I just really wanted her to at least get yelled at by a teacher or something lol.

But it didn’t detour me, at least. To this day I bring lunch boxes (bento) with me to work and out when I’m going out, and guess what? Now everyone who sees my lunchbox wants one of their own. Life’s funny that way, nes pas?

Quarterlife.

’m having a whiney moment of mid-life-ness, even though I’m at quarterlife. I’m always having mid-life-ness, though, I think it comes from being isolated in my current life. I’m still the best of friends with almost everyone I was close with in my teens, but they were lucky enough to get out of this town, so even though we run up our phone bills, send letters and presents, and talk every single day it’s hard not to feel seperate from them and my youth.

See, my parents were more than strict. My sister and I lived in a really abusive environment, and we weren’t allowed out of the house most of the time, let alone to run around and do teenage stuff, so I think that for that reason I’ve never been able to mature past the late 90s. That, and I can’t stand the 00s, so far they’ve been a bust, don’t you think?

But due to my parents stealing Laota and my youth, I tend to feel displaced and very much like I’ve missed my entire life. Because of this I live in a perpetual state of 18 years old, where I know what year it is, who’s President ( though I wish I didn’t ), and I’m quite able to function at my job and in my everyday life, but I’m never able to move past the time that I missed. I’m very much like a little child who doesn’t want to go to bed early in fear that, when the fun happens, he’ll miss it.

That’s exactly it. The reason I move from mania to mania, I think, is my need to be there for the fun. It’s so easy for me to get wrapped up in something, like making and carrying bento, horror films, websites, etc., and it’s the reason I can still listen to Champagne Supernova as if it were a brand new song, no matter how many times I’ve heard it – it’s because I’m looking for something to fill a life I feel is gone already. I want to have something, anything, to hold onto now that my youth is slipping away from me, but I’ve felt my youth leaving since my mid teens. I want something of my youth, I want to relive that space in time again and forsake any instruction from or fear of my abusive, horrible parents – I want to live, even if it’s only for a little while