You had me at hello

Okay, I’ve talked at length about the ridiculously awesome Ultimate Flirting Championship brought to us by our lovely friends at Extreme Style by VO5, and I’m sure I will again because I got to play the game (finally!) and I’ve found out something about myself – I suck!

No, there will be no Victory Hair for Faith because Faith can’t lay on a pick up line to save her life, lmao. I think it’s because I was always super blunt about these things and I never really needed pick up lines – plus they’re kind of cheesy and I don’t forsee them working on anyone with half a brain.

For instance – what are the greatest smoothie lines in the history of Hollywood? Cheesy! “You had me at hello” might be the worst, but I think the absolute best smoothie line of them all was Mae West’s, “Why don’t you come up, sometime, and see me?” famously twisted into, “Come up and see me sometime.” by every Tom, Dick and Harry in the business.

Sure, Hollywood’s got in a few good jabs, like “Here’s lookin’ at you, Kid.”, “How do you say, I wish I were my brother?” ( both rattled off by the often under sung, still awfully sexy, late, great Humphrey Bogart ) and new classics like, “How about a little blow job for good luck?” ( Jay Derris – Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back ), or my favorite, “It’s just skin.” ( Faith Lehane – Buffy the Vampire Slayer ). So yes, a few good jabs. But do they really work? If they work on you, I pity you, although who’s to say if they’d work on me if Bogart were to say them? Hmm, question for another time.

Worst Pick-up Lines Ever?

I live out in the boonies, so I’ve heard every horrible hillbilly pick-up line in the book. The worst aren’t even pick-up lines, they’re kind of Threat-mantic ( Please, tell me there are other Fairly Odd Parents fans out there? ) and they end up sounding far more like threats than invitations.

I think the worst I’ve ever heard is a tie between a guy who asked me on New Year’s Day when I was sick, exhausted and working register at a gas station if I’d like to help him break in a condom he’d just bought ( uh, no thanks ) and one I heard when I was 16. This guy named Buck who was in his 70s made a comment to me that he had a bag he’d like to put me in. Yeah, it’s fun out here, not scary or horrible at all! Everyone, come live in Buttcrack, Missouri and get thrown in a bag by Herbert the Pervert!

If you’ve heard a bad one, please let me know, I want to know I’m not alone! If you want a chuckle, check out Extreme Style by VO5’s Ultimate Flirting Championship game, it’s cool but I have yet to finish it ( will finish it at the library, faster connection – I’m on dail up right now, pew! ). It’s fun, though, I have yet to achieve Victory Hair! Think you can get yourself some Victory Hair? Well don’t just sit there, go test your flirting skills over at the Ultimate Flirting Championship already, and don’t hesitate to let me know how you did!