Single For The Holidays?

It’s the holidays again, and of course I’m missing The Boyfriend like crazypants. Granted, I always miss him what with him living on the coast and me being smack dab in the middle of the country, but around this time of year when fall’s heading into overtime and the prospect of Thanksgiving, Samhain and Solstice without him is looming I realize how much I depend on his presence, even if it’s only via phonecalls or emails.

I know more than a few people aren’t as lucky, I’ve found the man for me and so many will be going through the motions of the holidays without those calls, cards, emails and general closeness from afar that I’ll be privilaged with. And yes, we all know that nobody wants to try services like eharmony that charge you an arm and a leg for something that shouldn’t cost a dime. Seriously, why go with one of those expensive matchmaking sites when you can search for free over at True.com? I mean, some of the features they’ve got like coaching center? Safer dating tips? That’s genius, I’m here to tell you. Plus, did I mention how free it is? It’s FREE, right here in River City! With a capital F and that rhymes with … I don’t think anything rhymes with F, and that stands for FREE, lol.

Post?slot_id=22839&url=http%3a%2f%2fsocialspark

Worst Pick-up Lines Ever?

I live out in the boonies, so I’ve heard every horrible hillbilly pick-up line in the book. The worst aren’t even pick-up lines, they’re kind of Threat-mantic ( Please, tell me there are other Fairly Odd Parents fans out there? ) and they end up sounding far more like threats than invitations.

I think the worst I’ve ever heard is a tie between a guy who asked me on New Year’s Day when I was sick, exhausted and working register at a gas station if I’d like to help him break in a condom he’d just bought ( uh, no thanks ) and one I heard when I was 16. This guy named Buck who was in his 70s made a comment to me that he had a bag he’d like to put me in. Yeah, it’s fun out here, not scary or horrible at all! Everyone, come live in Buttcrack, Missouri and get thrown in a bag by Herbert the Pervert!

If you’ve heard a bad one, please let me know, I want to know I’m not alone! If you want a chuckle, check out Extreme Style by VO5’s Ultimate Flirting Championship game, it’s cool but I have yet to finish it ( will finish it at the library, faster connection – I’m on dail up right now, pew! ). It’s fun, though, I have yet to achieve Victory Hair! Think you can get yourself some Victory Hair? Well don’t just sit there, go test your flirting skills over at the Ultimate Flirting Championship already, and don’t hesitate to let me know how you did!